This recipe may sound a bit odd (though it shouldn't) - but it's easily my favourite pasta dish – if you don't count linguine con vongole. It's also one of those storecupboard staples that produces a fantastic yet sophisticated meal, easily and cheaply.
I've named it after a similar dish at Chalk Farm restaurant Marine Ices on which my version is - dare I whisper it? - an improvement.
I don't make bread. The sort of people who make their own bread, as we all know, are either self-important Islington twats who nest amongst ethnic cushions, French films and heavy-framed glasses with plain lenses, or hut-dwelling field folk who breed spaniels and knit their own muesli. Not me.
This year, I finally put my foot down. At the Christmas meal my friends and I arrange every year, there was no way I would settle for any more of that rehydrated sawdust stuffing - I want meat, and plenty of it.
This stuffing worked well, so I thought I'd share the recipe in case anyone is stumped for something to a bit of extra flavour to the ol' turkey.
What are hares? Once familiar to the point of ubiquity, mythically resonant to the point of legendry and eaten to the point of … well, eaten, these beasts are now scarcely recognised. Easter bunny? It was really a hare, you know.
Respected and feared for their solitary nature and - I suspect - their strange, staring eyes, hares across the world are immortalised in fairytale as madmen, tricksters and messengers of the moon. They are noble, weird, and a rare winter treat.
Gravad lax - cured salmon with dill - is a great favourite in Scandinavia. Terribly fresh and clean-tasting, this healthy dish makes a sophisticated starter, and being able to say 'I made it myself' gives you innumerable smug points (don't be coy, we all know they exist).
Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, as said some poet-johnny who liked being drippy about stuff. And because it tends to get a bit dingy at this time of year, also the season of getting home from work in the dark and having to knock up a quick supper before some surprisingly good tv.
I'm pulling out all the stops for this feast of a dinner.
DINNER
Dehydrated salmon with potatoes and dill sauce
Dehydrated mixed fruit and custard
Powdered red wine
Yummy, right?
After today's lunch, my tastebuds are crying out for some attention, and having spent the morning valiantly fighting off the undead, I need some energy.
SNACK
Energy gel (tropical)
Freeze-dried pineapple
Has lunch come round so soon? Great. My zombie-enforced prandials today consist of the most iron of rations and it doesn't look too tasty.
LUNCH
Standard emergency ration
Emergency drinking water
Welcome to DDD's day of emergency rations.
It's my first meal under zombie attack and thank goodness I've laid in some emergency rations to see me through this difficult time …
BREAKFAST
Dehydrated scrambled eggs and onions
Tinned bread
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