Debbie does Dining

Pot noodle: Doner kebab

This is not an illustration. It is a warning notice.

The horror …: Sauerkraut juice

Apple, mango, pink grapefruit, cabbage, orange, pear, peach. Let's play spot the odd one out.

No? Ok, let's see if you can get this one. There are two odd ones here: Squeezed, fermented, sweetened, pulped, heavily salted.

How about fermented, heavily salted cabbage juice? Now that's about as odd as it gets.

Milk and honey: Gelupo, Soho

There are few great gelaterias in London - and it's one of senseless situations that can make the sensitive soul very sad and a bit angry. I'm not going to listen to all your arguments about 'oh, but that's cause it's cold here' - because we actually eat ice cream quite a lot, and there's no reason why it should mostly be BAD ice cream.

The future of mint: Breakfast dental floss

Bored of mint? Me too. Every bloody thing from mouthwash to toothpaste to … After Eights is mint mint mint mint mint mint mint. Enough of the mint already. ENOUGH. What better, then, than replace this all-purpose cleanser with the flavour of proper food? Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you breakfast floss.

Best booze food - from the Great British Beer Festival

Beer is really nice. No amount of anti-drink-driving campaigns, revolting street vomiting incidents and never-again mornings can change my mind on this. It's really, really great.

But afternoons in the pub turn swiftly into evenings, and after a couple of hours on the sauce, thoughts turn to food. "Ohmygod I really fancy a …" But what? What is that je ne sais quoi that defines the great beer snack? Well I sais quoi and I'm going to tell you. 

You want rice with that? Tesco paella sandwich

Oh god oh god oh god. Tesco. Paella sandwich. A bright little sticker proudly proclaims 'As created by the Daily Mirror'. The things I do for this blog …

Weird candy: AUSTRALIA

Australia, like the past, is another country. Ever since we shipped our delinquent poor to those distant shores, so laying the roots for a mighty nation and decades of blush-inducing sporting defeats, we have recognised that they Do Things Differently There. They're kinda British - but with a spin (and I'm not just talking about Shane Warne).

They surf. They drink chilled lager. They make kooky films about dancing and loneliness. They barbecue. Ok there's a lot of intra-familial strife (according to this documentary I've been watching called 'Home and Away'), but even their animals have built-in pockets. Now THAT's casual. But what of their snacking items - does the Antipodean pioneer spirit prevail, or is their thinking just upside-down?

Weird candy: ASIA

People say that necessity is the mother of invention, but if you examine the family tree carefully, it's actually Japan. Those crazy kids down Asia way leave no stone unturned in their search for a new product. Rubber sushi? You got it. Schoolgirl underwear vending machines? No problem. Self-inflating digital vasectomy booths? Would you like cream with that? (I made that last one up)

So with the design skills of a whole host of angels and the consumer focus of a robot geisha on a coke binge, what can Japan come up with for the sweet toothed? I'll tell you what - and it involves collagen marshmallows, jelly-filled pillows and explosions …

Weird candy: AMERICA

America is the land of the free and the home of the disposable income - where advertising is an art form and product design is a religion, where treating yourself is a human right and tomorrow's invention is already yesterday's news. It's weird candy paradise.

Read on for coconut M&Ms, chocolate nerds with popping candy, tongue tattoos and fruit which tells your fortune …

Snack! Gamer Grub

Gamer Grub is a concept snack designed for people to eat while they're playing computer games, presumably to avoid the considerable trauma of standing up and going to the kitchen, or overtaxing the opposable thumb by grasping food.

The resealable packs are intended to be poured into the mouth without getting hands greasy or averting eyes from World of Little Planet Kart or whatever these gamers do with their lives. It’s also nutritionally enriched with vitamins and 'neurotransmitters', which sounds like a load of old bollocks to me.